teeeeeethhhhhh

I went to the dentist today.
Cool right?  Yeah, it's awesome.  You're jealous, I can tell.
But because of my visit to that office today, I decided to dedicate this post to some 8 years that I spent with something on my teeth.
Explanation?  Sure!

3rd grade - expander (if you don't know what that is, I consider you very lucky)
3rd grade-braces
5th grade- braces off.  Retainer
7th grade- braces again.
10th grade. braces off.  permanent retainer installed on bottom teeth.
college year 1- lost top teeth retainer.  new one made.
college year 2- At the dentist today, the dental assistant lady was scraping off my teeth with that horrible sharp metal object that always gets jabbed in there.  (honestly, I don't know what it's called. Horrible metal object works for me).  She was scraping and scraping so hard (possibly because she needed an arm workout or something) and I was lying there thinking "she's going to break my retainer.  Really and truly.  It's going to break.....Please don't break!".  Friends, guess what happened?  She was checking my teeth once she was all done and goes "Oh dear.  Looks like your retainer is broken.  Do you know how long it's been like that?" (Inside my head-"why yes, approximately 5 minutes since you just broke it trying to get rid of your Relief Society arms")  Have you noticed it at all?"  I said no.  Because I hadn't noticed it before.  Because it hadn't been broken before.  She stared at it for a minute longer, then went and grabbed my dentist who informed me "It looks like your retainer is broken."  No, really?  I had no idea.  Duh.  Then he mentioned that he could fix it.  But changed his mind.  Why?  Because not only is the wire broken, but the glue hooking it to my teeth came unglued.  I know, wonderful right? Not.  So he informed me that I should give my orthodontist a call (joy, that's my favorite place to go) and have him fix it since he's better at it.  He also said "Oh, it doesn't have to be a rushed thing.  Just within the next few weeks".  I'm sitting there thinking "Dude, I had braces for 8 years because my teeth were SIDEWAYS.  I'm not waiting weeks.  It's getting fixed.  ASAP. Why?  Because I DO NOT want braces again. Ever."
So I stormed out of there mad as mad can be with my toothpaste, toothbrush, floss, and gum trying to figure out what had just occurred.  End result of my dentist appointment today?  Though I may have very clean teeth now, it is obviously essential that I very soon make an appointment to visit the dreaded ortho office I spent many mornings in for 8 years because the dental assistant scraped too hard and snapped my permanent retainer.  Permanent.  Shouldn't that mean "non-breakable"?  Apparently not.
Now I've got to go make a phone call.  Please excuse me.