so much thinking

You know when things become so routine that you don't even think about them happening? Such as getting into a car and suddenly finding yourself at your destination without any recollection of how you got there? That's how I am currently feeling about my spirituality and my testimony. It is hard to imagine that with a calling as amazing as mine I can so easily put the Gospel and the Savior in the back seat, but it's happening. I go through the motions, and I don't even think much about what I am doing. I just do it.  I am currently in the midst of a 21-day challenge for sorority—a challenge to get closer to Christ. I think at the beginning I had my heart in the right place, but I've fallen back into just doing it without even really thinking. I've done some things that I'm not proud of recently, and all I can say is that I am so grateful for the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and the chance that I have to move on. It's been a crazy two days of thinking, my brain on high alert for any spiritual signs of relief, or help to move on. But I know the help will come.  I ask and I will receive.  If I do my part everything will work out just the way it is supposed to.  It's a scary thing, it will take courage, but I can do it. And I will do it.

"The Redeemer can settle your individual account with justice and grant forgiveness through the merciful path of repentance. Full repentance is absolutely essential for the Atonement to work its complete miracle in your life. By understanding the Atonement, you will see that God is not a jealous being who delights in persecuting those who misstep. He is an absolutely perfect, compassionate, understanding, patient, and forgiving Father. He is willing to entreat, counsel, strengthen, lift, and fortify. He so loves each of us that He was willing to have His perfect, sinless, absolutely obedient, totally righteous Son experience indescribable agony and pain and give Himself in sacrifice for all...For your peace now and for everlasting happiness, please repent. Open your heart to the Lord and ask Him to help you. You will earn the blessing of forgiveness, peace, and the knowledge you have been purified and made whole. Find the courage to ask the Lord for strength to repent, now. I solemnly witness that Jesus Christ is the Redeemer. I know that He lives. I testify that He loves you personally and will help you."

-Elder Richard G. Scott