and when you begin to miss me, don't forget it was you who let me go

My life has been a series of failed relationships, too many kissing stories, and promises that were broken. I wish I could say I've only kissed 5 guys, or even 10 guys isn't that bad. But since my number exceeds 10 by more than a few...I've got more on my plate than I wish I had. My number of successful relationships can be whittled down to 4ish...two of which were never defined so I usually count the first one as a half...so maybe 3 and a half. I've loved one person, and I've realized that love when you are 16 is very different from love 3 years later. I've come to accept that being cheated on happens, but it's never easy or fun to have to deal with. I've learned that when someone says "we should just move on" it usually means that he's a regular 17-year-old boy who just wants to get more action from someone else. I've discovered that you can be in a happy relationship with an amazing guy, and everything all of a sudden changes during a week. I also have found that even though I thought guys would be better at dating and knowing how to treat girls when they get home from their missions...they are not. They are still the clueless males that they were two years previous. Not like I have that much experience dating nice guys anyway....but I'm just saying. The last thing I've learned (this was recently) is that you can be totally in love with someone and not realize it until you've lost them. It all feels like a dream to me, and I am always left wondering if it all even really happened. I got a glimpse of a fairytale, a wonderful shooting star that lit up my whole sky. But it's a dream that didn't fully come true. You can be in love with someone, the most amazing guy in the world, and not realize how much you really did love him until he's no longer yours.
And I just wish I could scream song lyrics in his face, dig all the words he said to me out of my brain and put them in a ziplock bag and give them back to him. Then steal them back because I've never heard anyone say things like he said to me. So I think I'll keep them. And I won't scream song lyrics at him, no matter how much I want to. So, when he starts missing me he better remember that HE was the one who let me go.