don't judge

yes
      I should be studying

yes
     I shouldn't be blogging

yes
     I need help

yes
    Ahhhhhhhh!


Here is a little tidbit about me that you may not know.  I'm opening up quite personally right now - please don't judge me.  I just need somewhere to vent and somehow I'm a better venter when I'm typing because I can type faster than I can hand write things.  Anyway... I am a worry wart.  Probably the biggest worry wart you will ever meet.  No seriously, ask anyone.  I worry all the time (usually I am over-worrying about stuff that I should not be worrying about - mostly because I have no control over it).  So I am currently worrying.  And over-analyzing (which is another thing I do excessively).  Both things I shouldn't be doing right now.  I have no reason to worry, or over-analyze.  Yet I do anyway.  And I don't know why!!!
So I'm blogging about this in hopes that somewhere out there in the world of people who read my blog, is someone who can give me advice on how to not worry so much.  How to not over-analyze.  Seriously, it would save me from many headaches and tears.  Help?!?


Aside from all that, life is soo great! 

now back to studying....

never do I ever...

....have to take a math class ever again!

That's right folks!  I am completely and totally finished 

with math classes for the rest of my life!

Yay!!!!

little butterfly

I should be studying right now.  But I'm sooo burned out, and am definitely not thinking of psychology.  My mind is on something else. :)

So I thought I would share this marvelous quote I found in my Relief Society quotebook from a couple years ago...

"Just living is not enough, said the little butterfly.

One must have freedom, sunshine, 

and a little flower."

-Hans Christian Anderson

(again, I must credit Google image search for this photo haha)

life photographer

 (thanks to Google image search for this photo)

Yesterday I had a moment.  This picture, though not a fully accurate representation of this moment, gives a pretty good look at part of my moment.  There I was.  Happy and relaxed, swaying back and forth in silence, thinking to myself:

"If I had a photographer who followed me around 

and took pictures of my life, I'd want them to snap a shot right now,

enlarge it as big as they could, frame it, and place it 

somewhere I could always see it.  

That way I'll remember what happiness looks like."

I am so grateful for life.  I'm grateful for all the little things, the random smiles, the looks.  I'm grateful to look outside and see blue sky, hear birds, and really understand that I am lucky to be here.  I'm lucky to have the life I have, I'm lucky to be where I am.  I'm blessed to have amazing people in my life.  

I'm lucky to have happiness.

questionnnnnn

The biggest question of my life is on the tip of my tongue.

But since this blog is void of anything personal relationship ish....I cannot voice this question. 

Which is considerably annoying since the answer to this question is something I reallllllllllllllly want to know.

But it's personal - and the answer to this question no doubt varies to each individual person.  So....hearing your opinion on it may not even be helpful.  I wish it was.  I wish I knew how to tell.

I wish I could answer this question.

Maybe over time I'll be able to.

I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

prayer

Recently I have been praying about something specific that I've NEVER prayed about before.  Prayer has been such an important tool for me my entire life, and lately my answers haven't been coming automatically.  Last time I prayed for something important (about a month ago) my answer came two weeks later - so unexpectedly.  But it was exactly what I needed to hear.
So this time around when I'm praying, even harder than I did a month ago, and the answer isn't coming, I'm taking the answer to my last prayer as help for what to do about this one.  Just be patient.
Prayer is so important to me, and I am grateful to have the opportunity to talk to my Heavenly Father, to ask Him questions and to seek his guidance about important things in my life.  Cause this thing I'm praying for right now - it's a big deal.  One of the biggest decisions I'll ever make in my entire life, so I need to be patient and understand that the right answer will come in time.

"Thankfully, we can call upon Him anytime, anywhere. 

We can speak to Him in the quiet thoughts of our mind and from the

deepest feelings of our heart.... The peace God speaks to our minds 

will let us know when decisions we have made are right, when our course is true." 

-Rex D. Pinegar, “Peace through Prayer,” Ensign, May 1993, 65

"never knew I needed"

This is my new favorite song.  It's from the credits of "The Princess and the Frog" and I am obsessed with it.  Obsessed. 

"Never Knew I Needed"

by Ne-Yo 

For the way you changed my plans.

For being the perfect distraction.

For the way you took the idea that I have

of everything that I wanted to have,

and made me see there was something missing.
For the ending of my first begin,

and for the rare and unexpected friend.

For the way you're something that I never choose,

but at the same time something I don't wanna lose,

and never wanna be without ever again.

You're the best thing I never knew I needed.

So when you appeared I had no idea.

You're the best thing I never knew I needed.

So now it's so clear I need you here always

My accidental happily ever after.

The way you smile and how you comfort me, with your laughter.

I must admit you were not a part of my book,

but now if you open it up and take a look,

you're the beginning and the end of every chapter.

You're the best thing I never knew I needed.

So when you appeared I had no idea.

You're the best thing I never knew I needed.

So now it's so clear, I need you here always

Who'd knew that I'd be here,

so unexpectedly,

undeniably happy

said with you right here, right here next to me.

But you're the..

you're the best thing I never knew I needed.

So when you appeared I had no idea.

You're the best thing I never knew I needed.

So now it's so clear i need you here always...

Baby, baby

Now it's so clear I need you here, always.


Favorite line: the last one